S E V E N Days...

Count 'em, seven days sailing on the sea. Ahh. I think a cruise is one of the best, most relaxing vacations you can take, and Disney Cruise Lines does it best. Spacious staterooms, and a ship that is simply elegant from stem to stern make your stay on this ship better than any resort I've ever stayed in.

We took the seven day Western Caribbean cruise. Key West, Grand Cayman, Cozumel and Castaway Cay. It was a blast...

Key West

On Sunday we were in Key West. We were scheduled to arrive at the port late in the morning so I scheduled the "Exotic Rasul" treatment at the spa. At least this way the Mrs. would still have some sort of surprise. This was a treatment for two so I thought it would be nice. Yeah, NO. This was the only part of the trip that SUCKED. You were sent into this room/shower where we were to:
1. Rub this salty concoction all over one another, then
2. Go stand in this steam room for five minutes, then
3. Go shower off
4. Rub some mud stuff all over one another, and
5. Repeat steps two and three.
Let me reiterate how much this sucked. It SUCKED. No more than an $80 shower was this. The steam room was so hot that it burned your lungs when you walked in, and then the shower was ice cold and I paid for this

When we got off the ship we walked around Key West for a while, had a beer, some conch fritters, and key lime pie. It was too hot and humid so we decided to just go back to the ship and hang out at the pool. No loss though, we've been to Key West before.

A Day at Sea

 I so love the days at sea. Nothing planned but to relax. I read and drank cocktails while the Mrs. played bingo and when to an art auction. In the end, that cost almost as much as the cruise itself...

This is the Simon Bull we finally bought.

Grand Cayman

Beautiful water. The bluest water I have ever seen in my life. Other  than that, tee shirt and jewelry shops. We had a lunch that seemed reasonably priced until they converted the money to US $$. I then felt raped. The conch gazpacho was good, but bowl of soup, a plate of jerk chicken (which was awesome BTW), a plate of calamari (all appetizer size), and some fruity Caribbean drink for more than $60. Ouch.

We really didn't see too much of Grand Cayman, just the touristy stuff. Next time it might be nice to venture a bit further into the island and see what it is really like.

Cozumel

We were supposed to swim with the dolphins while we were in Cozumel, but the wether prohibited that. It was so windy that day that it was difficult to even walk. I liked Cozumel in general, what was most annoying was all the people trying to drag you into their stores. One Mexican Minute". Please. And then when you don't buy anything they get nasty. So the Mrs. drug me all over Cozumel all day looking at tee shirts and jewelry, we did have a good lunch dirt cheep though -- six bucks for two beers and appetizers -- sweet! At some point she asks me what time it is, is say "half past over it -- can we go now." Two hours later we find our way back to the ship.

Another Day at Sea

Need I say more?

Castaway Cay

I think the best port of call on the itinerary. Nothing to do but sit on the beach and drink. It was a beautiful day and hang on the beach is exactly what we did. Then we laid in a hammock for a little while.

 

All in all, this was one of the best vacations on record. Everyone should take a cruise at some point in their lives. I know many will say they get sea sick or whatever, but hey wear one of those patch things behind your ear, and don't think about it -- you'll be fine!

The Tupperware Incident

It was supposed to be a surprise. I had been planning it since February and had enlisted the help of every devious person I know. I had arranged time off, a baby sitter for X and someone to come and stay with the dogs. So when the Mrs. called and asked if I had spent $$$$ with Disney Cruise Lines, naturally I denied it.

the Mrs. -"Hang on there's fraud on our account, I've got the lady on the other line. Lemme conference you in!" 

me - "no no, let her go. It was me, nosy nosy woman. Happy Anniversary.  Why are you looking online at the credit card statement anyway?"

the Mrs. - "I'm not. I was trying to buy some Tupperware and the credit card was declined."

me - "oh. Yeah well -- we definitely need more tupperware, I thought we had a better credit line than that. Sorry. Too bad your surprise was spoiled."

Actually, I was relieved that I didn't have to pack for her, you know I would have really screwed that up!

Please, No Eating, Drinking, Smoking, or Flash Photography

Amazing how time flies. X turned three last Thursday. The Mrs. and I started a tradition last year where we take him to Disney for his birthday. We stay four days and play it up like tourists! and we really have a great time doing it. We attended several character breakfasts and spent time visiting the characters around the park and taking pictures. X was so excited he could hardly contain himself. It is so much fun to see his reactions when he sees characters he likes.

There were times though when I found myself becoming one of those parents... the ones who become so obsessed with their child's behavior that they loose any sense of proportion. I mean that it is a balancing act between making sure that your child behaves appropriately, and making sure he still has a good time. After all, we are there for the kids, right. If you become so rigid that the child has to stand right next to you every second, and can't get a little figity, no one is going to have a good time. When the Mrs. and I relaxed a bit, so did X and we were all much happier.

Then there were the miserable people. The people who had no business at the happiest place on Earth. The lady who stuck her arms up in the air as if she were under arrest, turning around like some stupid ballerina, showing she had nothing as she went through the line where they check your bags. Come on lady, a small inconvenience to try and make sure no one brings a bomb into the park. Grow Up!

There was the trip to Guest Relations. Everyone in that line was
M A D. I was too, not at Disney, but at the Mrs. I'd been telling her for two weeks we need to renew our passes. Someone told her on the phone that we had 30 days to do this, but the day after they expired we couldn't get into to the park. Off to Guest Relations. One couple at the window wanted their entire vacation refunded because there was a storm one day while they were at the park. I didn't realize that Disney could control the weather too!

This brings me to the line jumpers. "I waited in line already". BIG FAT FUCKING DEAL. If there is a line, you need to wait in it. One guy interrupted someone else's transaction. HOW FUCKING RUDE. When I told him he should wait in line just like everyone else, he told me that I would do the same if I were him. Hello Jackass, I've waited in several lines already today and you don't see me cutting in front of all these people.

But my favorite was this lady, who completely ignored the prohibition against flash photography. All through Pirates of the Caribbean, she is snapping pictures, setting off her flash and messing up the experience for everyone else. Not only is the flash going off, but the light from the display on her camera is distracting. So to show her how she made the experience for everyone else, I started snapping pictures of her. At least I turned my display off so that light didn't get in anyone's eyes. The Mrs. did remind me that I was breaking the rules as well and that two wrongs don't make a right, so I waited until we got off the ride to snap this one, her running from me. She must have heard me tell the Mrs. that I was gonna post her fat ass on the Internet so the world can see who the asshole was. I hope your pictures sucked. Oh yeah, remember this when your three kids are always in trouble too, you set the example, showing that it is optional to follow the rules. STUPID BITCH.

All in all, a good time was had by all. Disney is just great fun and I can't imagine getting tired of going there. At least I'm a happy person and can just laugh at these idiots - and heckle the line jumpers so that even if they don't step to the end, they will be somewhat embarrassed.

Standing on the Beach...

No gun in my hand, no Arabs were harmed in the making of this blog.

We just spent a week at the beach. What a way to recharge your batteries! No places you need to be, no phone ringing of the hook, ah. I could live there and just sit on the balcony of our condo and watch the ocean. The sound of the waves and watching them come in and go out is just so relaxing. I've been back to work for two days now, and I'm still smiling.

I think that one of the reasons I find the beach so relaxing is that the ocean helps to put things into perspective. The vast ocean makes you feel so damn small, like one of the grains of sand you are standing on.

I'm not really one to go too deep into the ocean, usually only waist deep, but this time I was carried away. I found myself out to my shoulders and just letting the waves carry me, up and down. It was almost like meditating. Just me in the huge ocean. Before I knew it, I felt like a kid again, just smiling and laughing without a care in the world.

I'm alive.