My Carbon Footprint

I was listening to the the radio this morning and the DJs were discussing replacing their incandescent lights with fluorescent ones. Reducing the carbon foot print. I need to do this at home myself, I guess it is a matter of making the time to do the research, go to Home Depot and then install them.

My other project is to work on the Mrs. She only seems to know how to place the light switch in the on position. When I wake up in the morning the bathroom lights are on, as are those in the kitchen. Then she has the audacity to complain about the electric bill. She is the bigger challenge in reducing our footprint.

And this is important. I wonder what kind of world my son will inherit  from us -- or hell, we any of us even survive to see what the world looks like as a result of what man has done?

It scares me that the world is closer to disaster than it is to recovery, particularly because major changes we make today will not be seen for decades.

It is time people. I'm making my commitment to address those things I can control - the way my family and I use energy. Do the same in your home! We can all make a difference and small changes can accumulate into something huge.

Rest in Peace

Tony was just in my office last week -- a week ago today as a matter of fact. When I asked him how he was doing he said "not good Paule. My wife ain't doing so well." He spent an hour telling me all that was going on with Jennifer. He told me about how her cancer had come back, in her spine, and how she had been recovering well from that, but then it showed up in her organs and the treatments weren't helping.
They decided to stop the treatments, and try to make the most of the good days. Between the pain and the medications, it sounded like those were few and far between. He told me that she was in a wheel chair, but she had a good day recently and took it to the mall. He smiled while he told me about that.
My heart went out to Tony. I was shocked to learn this morning that she had passed last night. May she rest in peace.

Please, No Eating, Drinking, Smoking, or Flash Photography

Amazing how time flies. X turned three last Thursday. The Mrs. and I started a tradition last year where we take him to Disney for his birthday. We stay four days and play it up like tourists! and we really have a great time doing it. We attended several character breakfasts and spent time visiting the characters around the park and taking pictures. X was so excited he could hardly contain himself. It is so much fun to see his reactions when he sees characters he likes.

There were times though when I found myself becoming one of those parents... the ones who become so obsessed with their child's behavior that they loose any sense of proportion. I mean that it is a balancing act between making sure that your child behaves appropriately, and making sure he still has a good time. After all, we are there for the kids, right. If you become so rigid that the child has to stand right next to you every second, and can't get a little figity, no one is going to have a good time. When the Mrs. and I relaxed a bit, so did X and we were all much happier.

Then there were the miserable people. The people who had no business at the happiest place on Earth. The lady who stuck her arms up in the air as if she were under arrest, turning around like some stupid ballerina, showing she had nothing as she went through the line where they check your bags. Come on lady, a small inconvenience to try and make sure no one brings a bomb into the park. Grow Up!

There was the trip to Guest Relations. Everyone in that line was
M A D. I was too, not at Disney, but at the Mrs. I'd been telling her for two weeks we need to renew our passes. Someone told her on the phone that we had 30 days to do this, but the day after they expired we couldn't get into to the park. Off to Guest Relations. One couple at the window wanted their entire vacation refunded because there was a storm one day while they were at the park. I didn't realize that Disney could control the weather too!

This brings me to the line jumpers. "I waited in line already". BIG FAT FUCKING DEAL. If there is a line, you need to wait in it. One guy interrupted someone else's transaction. HOW FUCKING RUDE. When I told him he should wait in line just like everyone else, he told me that I would do the same if I were him. Hello Jackass, I've waited in several lines already today and you don't see me cutting in front of all these people.

But my favorite was this lady, who completely ignored the prohibition against flash photography. All through Pirates of the Caribbean, she is snapping pictures, setting off her flash and messing up the experience for everyone else. Not only is the flash going off, but the light from the display on her camera is distracting. So to show her how she made the experience for everyone else, I started snapping pictures of her. At least I turned my display off so that light didn't get in anyone's eyes. The Mrs. did remind me that I was breaking the rules as well and that two wrongs don't make a right, so I waited until we got off the ride to snap this one, her running from me. She must have heard me tell the Mrs. that I was gonna post her fat ass on the Internet so the world can see who the asshole was. I hope your pictures sucked. Oh yeah, remember this when your three kids are always in trouble too, you set the example, showing that it is optional to follow the rules. STUPID BITCH.

All in all, a good time was had by all. Disney is just great fun and I can't imagine getting tired of going there. At least I'm a happy person and can just laugh at these idiots - and heckle the line jumpers so that even if they don't step to the end, they will be somewhat embarrassed.

GIve Me an Inch - from Breaking Glass

No Duh

So I'm driving home from work this evening and I see this bumper sticker, it says "The ten commandments aren't multiple choice."

Well, no duh. In order for something to be multiple choice, don't we need a question? I can't think of a commandment that is stated as a question, and if they were, wouldn't they be the ten queries or ten questions about life or something like that?

So here they are, 10 multiple choice commandment questions:

1. With whom do you have a monogamous worshiping relationship?
   a. god
   b. Zeus
   c. Buddha
   d. None of the above
2. Graven images are okay
   a. True
   b. False
3. Which of the following are acceptable ways to use the lord thy god's name in vain?
   a. oh god!
   b. goddammit!
   c. jesus h christ!
   d. none of the above
   
4. Which day should be kept holy and remembered?
   a. Monday
   b. Friday
   c. Wednesday
   d. the sabboth
5. Should thee honor thy parents?
   a. True
   b. False
6. Under which circumstances is it okay to kill?
   a. a kill or be killed situation
   b. your daughter has been raped and you have the perpetrator in your hands
   c. some sonofabitch just cut you off getting on the expressway
   d. none of the above
7. Adultery is okay when...
   a. when your spouse does it first
   b. as long as your spouse doesn't know
   c. when you have agreed ahead of time that it is okay
   d. never
8. It is okay to steal when you are really hungry
   a. True
   b. False
9. You should bear false witness against your neighbor when...
   a. you think he is a member of a terrorist group, but have no hard evidence
   b. his dog crapped in your yard and he didn't clean it uo
   c. his trying to sell his house and you don't like the look of the couple currently checking out the house during his open house
   d. never
10. Which of the following are acceptable things to covet?
    a. your brothers wife
    b. your best friends car
    c. your neighbors home
    d. you shouldn't covet at all
    

Hook, Line and Sinker

The Mrs. and I were watching TV one night and this commercial came on. In unison, the Mrs. and I exclaim, "I love that song!" Much to the chagrin of the advertiser, the only thing I remember about the ad is the song.

This did work out for Andrew Clark and Allison Moyet, as well as for the members of ABC, I'm sure. Before the show was back on I was logged into iTunes and in my basket were Upstairs at Eric's, Look of Love -- The Very Best of ABC, as well as several other Yaz tunes from a best of compilation. Before the show was over, I had downloaded 30 songs- talk about impulse buying. The commercial got me to iTunes, then the "others who bought this also bought..." section made me go "OH YEAH..."

I've noticed a lot of good music in commercials lately, New Order in The New AT&T (sucks), the Cure for HP just to name a few. I'm wondering if there is really a dual intent here? Are they selling the music as well as the product or service? For me, Hearing "Only You" in that ad was very nostalgic. It had been years since I listened to Yaz, but there was a point in my life when Upstairs at Eric's was the only thing I listened to. Same for ABC. I loved those songs, and they took me back to some really great days! I was compelled to buy, and then buy more.

Remember the Volkswagen commercial back in the '90's? The one where it is just the car driving through the mountains and Clannad's "Harry's Game" playing in the background. When I went to buy Anam it had a sticker on it that said "Contains that music from the Volkswagen commercial." Certainly they experienced a boost in album sales from the national ads.

So I like to think that it was just a coincidence that the music was great for an ad and I went to buy it, and wow, the Internet makes it convenient to do so. The advertising guys are much smarter than I am, and planned every penny I spent that night.

What not to do when...

You wake up at 2 am.

1. Drink more than a sip of water, you'll spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom.
2. Go to the bathroom. If you break the golden seal, you'll spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom.
3. Look for or even think about a clock. You will spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep.
4. Touch the remote control. You will become interested in a program that you must continually stop watching while you run to the bathroom. While you are watching a show, you are distracted because you are obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep.
5. Turn on your laptop. The light created by it in combination with the TV will burn into your retina so that when you close your eyes all you see is blinding light. When you open your eyes to avoid it, you try to get interested in that program again, but you are distracted obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep, when you remember that you need to use the bathroom...again.

And do not try to go back to bed at 5 am. You will simply fall asleep just in time for the alarm to go off and just piss you off.

Scholarship, Practice and Leadership

Information Literacy is a hot 21st century topic. It is seen by many as a critical skill though there is little consensus as to who owns the responsibility of developing this literacy. This paper looks at the importance of information literacy and the differing views of how to begin promoting a life long love of learning.

In January 1989, The Association of College and Research Libraries declared Information Literacy is a survival skill in the Information Age. A survival skill. With information expanding at an unprecedented rate  (ACRL, 1989) the ability to “. . . recognize when information is needed and have the ability to locate, evaluate, and use effectively the needed information” (p. 1) is crucial in business, academia, and lives. The barrage of information is practically constant and from such a variety of sources that skills to cope with it will determine the success or failure of businesses, of scholars and of people.

Some of the questions faced when discussing information literacy include: where lies the responsibility for developing these skills in individuals and when and how should this proceed? There are those who believe that librarians, as the gate keepers to so much information, should shoulder the burden. Others feel that teachers own the responsibility, and still more who consider collaboration between the two groups the best way to proceed. Despite the lack of consensus on approach, most agree that information literacy is now as fundamental as reading, writing and arithmetic.

The notion that information literacy is such a fundamental skill has prompted government and industry alike to provision Information Communication Technology, training, hardware, and software. Still, it is important to distinguish between the skills and the tools. Deploying technology is only a starting point in developing the necessary competencies of information literacy (Bruce, 2002, p2). There are in reality two distinct sets of skills at work here. The skills to use the information technology to search for information are only a small piece of the puzzle. The information literacy skills of effective searching and analyzing the data are completely independent. The focus is on the stuff rather than the substance. A degree of scholarship must accompany the technology in order for it to be a truly effective tool. With a tool box containing critical thinking, effective search skills, and the ability to synthesize ideas, people are better equipped to take action on the information they find.

With the technology in place, information literacy is relegated to the Librarian to instruct. The library has become an obscure place as “students rely on the Internet as the primary source of information for coursework, neglecting library databases and print resources,” (Zabel, 2004, p. 2) and is evidenced in the question “If you can’t Google it, is it anything worth knowing?” (Besel, 2006, p. 1). This is not entirely a bad thing as librarians frequently develop a variety of materials ranging from publications, to tutorials and web pages regarding information literacy. Additionally, they are keenly aware of the information seeking behaviors of students, what materials are available and key concepts that students need to be effective researchers (Mackey & Jackobson, 2005 p. 143). It is essential that faculty be more involved with information literacy.

“Some type of instruction is a necessity given that students, especially undergraduates, often lack the skills to find, evaluate, and effective use information” (Zabel 2004). A collaborative approach to information literacy may be the answer. If faculty and librarians were to partner and create curricula that embed information literacy into the program, students would have the opportunity not only to learn these essential skills, but put them to use. According to Zabel (2004), “Instruction . . . is meaningless unless teaching faculty require students (especially undergraduates) to do research as part of their coursework,” but, Mackey and Jackobson observed that without a “defined focus on research and writing” students are unable to effectively turn out college level work (2005, p. 141). This falls in line with the 1989 ACRL recommendation that instruction “move from textbook and lecture style learning to resource based learning , as well as making the library an “extension of the classroom for self-directed learning” (Mackey & Jacobson, 2005, p. 142).

Students who know how to do research are not the only benefit of information literacy. According to the ACRL (1989), there are also economic and social benefits of information literacy: “To promote economic independence and quality of existence, there is a lifelong need for being informed and up to date”. They stress this point in saying that “In Individuals’ Lives Americans have traditionally valued quality of life and the pursuit of happiness; however, these goals are increasingly difficult to achieve because of the complexities of life in today’s information and technology dependent society”, information literacy is a survival skill, whether one is pursuing higher education or not. If Americans are to continue to achieve those things we value – quality of life and pursuit of happiness – information should be at the forefront of our educational process. I believe that economic independence and a better informed citizenry are the least of the benefits of information literacy. Where students are “. . . move[d] away from the dominant paradigm of prepackag[ed] information . . . in the form of text books, lectures and even artificially constrained multimedia resources to facilitat[ed] active learning using real world information.”(Bruce, 2002, Section 3, ¶ 4) there will be lower drop out rates, fewer problem children and possibly more of them pursuing advanced studies. An article by Louanne Smolin and Kimberly Lawless (2003) described a second grade class exploring What it means to be bilingual.

Together students wrote interview questions; practiced them on one another; took walking field trips into the community; and, armed with digital cameras, video cameras, and audiotapes, accomplished the interviews. Upon returning to their classroom, they reviewed their pictures, audiotapes, and videotapes and then used the five classroom computers to analyze and synthesize their information for a digital slide show which they shared with their school community. They also emailed these slide shows to “e-pals” with whom they had been communicating. (p. 570)

While Mackey and Jacobson (2005) describe what complicated steps a college is now taking, second graders were more engaged in their studies – two years ago, and certainly learned more than they would have simply listening to a lecture, or reading the information from a textbook. Learning in this way taps into children’s natural curiosity and tendency to ask questions, promoting scholarship at a young age. They were also able to practice what they were learning working on a project that they shared with the community, adding value to what they were learning. These children will be in a fine position to be tomorrow’s leaders, while today’s college students try to catch up.

The amount of information encountered on a daily basis is staggering. This was recognized as early as 1989 by the ACRL and they recommend a framework for information literacy. While many agree that information literacy is a fundamental literacy in this Information Age, there is still controversy – more than 15 years later – on just who is responsible for its development. “Ultimately, information literate people are those who have learned how to learn” (ACRL, 1989, p. 1). Early instruction in information literacy will create lifelong learners who are able to take action on concepts, and become a new, better informed leadership  force in society. These students will understand that while Google may return 121,000,000 hits when searching for information literacy, there is certainly more to know, more to practice, and better ways to lead.

In the 21st Century there must be a change in the teaching paradigm that causes students to fall in love with learning. This begins with the new survival skill, information literacy. Once students begin learning to sift through all the information pushed at them, effectively search through it, synthesize it and put new learning into practice, we will begin to see the beginning of a golden age.

References
Association of College & Research Libraries (1989). Presidential Committee on Information Literacy: Final Report. Washington DC.
Besel, P. (2006). Information Literacy in the Information Age. Connect2OWU – Weekly magazine for the Ohio Wesleyan University Community. http://connect2.owu.edu/ourtown/129.php
Bruce, C. (July 2002). Information Literacy as a Catalyst for Educational Change: A Background Paper. White Paper prepared for UNESCO, the U.S. National Commission on Libraries and Information Science, and the National Forum on Information Literacy, for use at the Information Literacy Meeting of Experts, Prague, The Czech Republic. http://www.nclis.gov/libinter/infolitcomf&meet/papers/bruce-fullpaper.pdf.
Mackey, T., & Jacobson, T. (2005). INFORMATION LITERACY. College Teaching, 53(4), 140-144. Retrieved Sunday, April 23, 2006 from the Academic Search Premier database
Smolin, L., & Lawless, K. (2003). Becoming literate in the technological age: New responsibilities and tools for teachers. Reading Teacher, 56(6), 570. Retrieved Sunday, April 23, 2006 from the Academic Search Premier database.
Zabel, D. (2004). A Reaction to "Information Literacy and Higher Education". Journal of Academic Librarianship, 30(1), 17-21. Retrieved Sunday, April 23, 2006 from the Academic Search Premier database.

Found it!

I must have been in sixth grade. I was watching HBO one Sunday morning and this movie came on. I only ever saw it the one time, but it stuck with me. I was too young then to go to the video or record store to try and buy it, so it just lingered in the back of my mind. Not the movie so much as the music. So by the time I was old enough to be able to procure such things for myself I looked high and low for this movie. By this time, it was out of print.

So I finally found it and was able to download it at http://tf.org YES! Five hours later, I'm watching this movie that has eluded me for 15 years.

Breaking Glass is the story of a band (called Breaking Glass) becoming successful in 1980's London. It is pretty typical of these sorts of stories, starting out, paying dues, success and the pitfalls associated with it, and finally the fall from grace. Some may say that the movie is just bad, and granted, the acting isn't the best ever, but hey, I like the story, it moves along well, and it doesn't put me to sleep.

The big thing about this movie is the music. It is like Purple Rain. Love or hate the movie, you can not deny the power of the music. So powerful is the music in Breaking Glass that after only one listen (the first time I heard it) the phrase give 'em an inch, ALWAYS evokes that song from the movie in my head. 

Give me an inch, and I'll take me a mile
Give me the distance from your supercilious smile

What Will They re-Think of Next?

The first time it happened I was so very excited. SciFi Channel was going to air a "re-imagining" of Battlestar Galactica. As a child of the '70's I loved Battlestar Galactica and was so let down when the series was canceled. The idea that there were humans in a great convoy searching through the universe for Earth really sparked my imagination. This show was cutting edge for it's time as well, and the most expensive production on television at the time.

At its core, the story of Battlestar Galactica is brilliant. What would humanity look like if it were decimated and was placed in the position of needing to find a new home? The journey can be an amazing one with practically limitless stories of conflict; not only with external forces, but within the human community as well; and heroism. This makes for great drama. I can see the need to "re-imagine" this story; limited technology and budget in the '70's never were really able to give the idea the treatment it deserved -- the epic feel that we now get to thanks to David Eicks and Ronald Moore. They have done a tremendous job of breathing new life into this story. What is brilliant with what they have done is that they have stayed true to the central tenant of the story... the human race (as our characters know it) is practically destroyed and they are running for their lives. The show has an almost operatic feel that is worthy of the weight of the story.

Next we have a "re-imaging" applied to none other than Miss Jamie Sommers as the Bionic Woman. Again, as a child of the '70's, I watched this show pretty religiously, as well as the predecessor, The Six Million Dollar Man. As a SciFi fan, I'm obliged to give this new Bionic Woman a shot. The ads make the show seem much darker the special FX look out of this world, never-mind the fact that Michelle Ryan is flat out HOT, as is Katee Sackhoff (aka Starbuck on Battlestar Galactica).

Still, I wouldn't call this a a "re-imagining" of the show as much as a reinvention of it. '70's Jamie Sommers: school teacher, girl friend of Steve Austin - the six million dollar man- gets bionic because she is nearly killed in a parachuting accident and is the girl friend of the six million dollar man, bionic leg, arm and ear. 21st Century Jamie Sommers: Bartender, gets bionic because she is nearly killed in a care accident and is the girl friend of the scientist developing bionics, two bionic legs, bionic arm, bionic ear, and bionic eye. They only thing that didn't change is that she now owes the government her life and must work for them. She isn't terribly happy about this.

Ultimately, this show is about the character, Jamie Sommers, and such fundamental changes to the character's back story really make this an entirely different show. Why not simply pick up a bionic story where it left off. Calling this character Jamie Sommers is really just a way to get people who loved the original to tune in. I will, but I reserve the right to resent these tactics.

Next we have a modernized Flash Gordon, thanks again to the SciFi Channel. Flash Gordon is a venerated oldie that must see a revival in every time, and apparently now is the time. My own experience with flash is limited to the '80's movie-- "Flash, Flash, I love you, but we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!", and the more important derivative work, Queen's soundtrack. I watched the premier of the "re-imagined" version the other night and found a watchable 1.5 hours of television. I'll make space on my DVR, but really this brings me to the real question at hand: where has all the creativity gone? Have all the good ideas been taken? This goes way beyond my three examples here on television, but music and movies are victims of this as well.

I really believe that that are some stories that deserve a fresh and updated look, Battlestar, in my opinion is one of those. It's epic nature, and the fact that the story wasn't told as well as it could have been before make it a perfect example. Bionic Woman is somewhat of a cheat. The bionics are a plot device and the character isn't really who they say she is. This one was probably better left alone.

I can see where a step in the creative process might be to re-evaluate an old idea, take it along some new line that the creator may not have envisioned, it just seems like there is too much reliance on old stories. What will be the next great epic? I wonder.

Is it just me

<rant>

Or is entering a date on a web form just stupid? I can type ten digits faster than I can select the year of my birth any day of the week. So who is the idiot who decided that the convention of drop down lists were the appropriate way to enter dates on forms?

From a database standpoint I get it. They need to info to conform to certain standard: the database can see Jan, jan, January, january , and never mind the misspellings, as different entries. So make it numeric and a field for each part. If people use a single digit for the day and month, just give a message back saying you need two digits. This is particularly annoying on a birth date. This becomes more and more annoying the older you get, right, you are always further down on the list. At lease make a combo box so that while I type 1 9 7 1 it auto fills.

/<rant> 

A Milestone, of Sorts

I have gone a full week without smoking. It was so easy to start, why is stopping so hard? Here are some of the highlights of the nightmares caused by quitting smoking:

• Terribly on edge. The least little thing just makes me so angry. It is like I am the only person on Earth who has any intelligence, and everyone else has the brain power of a single celled organism.
• Single Focus. There have been several days where all I could think about was having a smoke. I said to a co-worker yesterday, "I'd walk five miles for a cigarette right now, and by the time I got there, I probably wouldn't want it anymore."
• Depression. I feel as if I have lost my best friend.
• Unbelievably vivid dreams. Disturbing dreams. Dreams about things I dare not speak of. Dreams in which I remember that the dream is a reoccurring one. Dreams that have me worrying about my sanity.
• Hunger. I am so freggin' hungry I can't stand it.

I don't know if all of this is just the quitting smoking, or if it is side affects of the  helper drugs that go along with this process. The one I know for sure is side affect is the nausea, which is partially leads to the hunger. If I eat immediately after taking it, I'm not nauseous.

On the bright side, I do actually feel better. That smokers cough has almost disappeared. I haven't woken up in the middle of the night unable to breath, and all the food I am eating, tastes so much better.

So congratulations to me.

Someone Might Get Hurt

This is me without cigarettes. Not pretty. This too shall pass, but all can think about is going outside in the rain to puff away on a tube of paper stuffed with dried leaves and cotton at one end.

I stole this picture from here: www.therapyquestionmark.co.uk so take a look at their site. Listen to their tunes and buy their music.

So I swap one bad habit for another. I am eating like there is no tomorrow, or otherwise chewing gum. I must have some oral (not aural) fixation. I've been told by a co-worker that chewing straws is prohibited, because it looks ridiculous. As if a cigarette doesn't. She is a non-smoker. We compromised on cinnamon toothpicks instead. Not so obvious, and a little tougher looking. This way I won't look so much like the bitch I am to the habit, but more of a bad ass who needs to chew on something in order to channel some aggression. So at the rate I am going, I shall certainly weigh 500 lbs by the end of next week. Get out of my mind....

The thing is, I don't really feel like I crave the cigarette as much as I need to round out the day. It is time for a smoke, that's all. My routine is disturbed and I not quite sure how to create a new one. I tried walking around the office, and there are all these people who would gladly give me a cigarette if I asked for it. Need to move on to someplace else. Ah... the cafeteria. Now there is a good place to go. Smoking while eating is so nasty. A small reprieve, long enough to eat the hot Italian sub and fries that are today's special. But now I want that after eating cigarette. FUCK!!! Hey, eating a cigarette, now that sounds good, no wait, what the hell am I thinking??

Good Riddance

I've been your bitch for far too long. Whenever you call, I come running. All you do is make me sick, steal my time and money and leave your stench all over me. I just can't get away.

I know I've left you before, written you off. Then you called again, at a moment of weakness and we were together again, with a vengeance. Again you take over my life, again I am your bitch, to come running whenever you call. Wreaking of you you when we are finished, time lost again, more money down the toilet, all for nothing really.

I hear you calling me now. And I so want to go to you. But no more. I am stronger than you. You are nothing but a stinking stick of leaves rolled together in paper. You really have no more power over me than I give you. I choose to give you nothing.

Good riddance smokey mistress, I knew better when we started our affair, and it has gone on far too long. I'm finished with you.

Standing on the Beach...

No gun in my hand, no Arabs were harmed in the making of this blog.

We just spent a week at the beach. What a way to recharge your batteries! No places you need to be, no phone ringing of the hook, ah. I could live there and just sit on the balcony of our condo and watch the ocean. The sound of the waves and watching them come in and go out is just so relaxing. I've been back to work for two days now, and I'm still smiling.

I think that one of the reasons I find the beach so relaxing is that the ocean helps to put things into perspective. The vast ocean makes you feel so damn small, like one of the grains of sand you are standing on.

I'm not really one to go too deep into the ocean, usually only waist deep, but this time I was carried away. I found myself out to my shoulders and just letting the waves carry me, up and down. It was almost like meditating. Just me in the huge ocean. Before I knew it, I felt like a kid again, just smiling and laughing without a care in the world.

I'm alive.

Funny Stuff

As a Huge Battlestar Galactica fan, I found this hilarious!

The Big Scare

I had only turned my back for a second. I turned back around just in time to catch the Mrs. in mid air, on her way down to the water. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the toy X was riding around on half in the water and half on the pool deck.

Then I found him. He was under the water and doing what he had been trained to do. I saw him roll over onto his back, and he was floating to the top -- just as the Mrs. scooped him up.

That moment made all the screaming, all the crying, all the frustration we went through with the swimming lessons worth it.

Biology

X is adopted. We have an open adoption in that we have met his birth-mother (BM) on several occasions and remain in contact with her through our attorney. She does not know our last name, nor our address or phone number. We send her pictures of him periodically and occasionally she asks to visit with him. It has been almost a year since our last visit with her. There is just one stipulation. She can not refer to herself as mommy. She is auntie. She is fine with this and really seems to enjoy these meetings. X treats her as he would any other relative stranger, at first cautiously, and then he warms up after a time.

The Mrs. always gets a little worried when she asks to see him. She thinks that BM must have some ulterior motive, that she wants something of us, or that she will try and take X back. I guess it is natural for her to feel this way -- BM has had some issues in the past.

She has a history of drug use, and was actually in prison when X was born. We visited her while she was in prison, before X was born and she was so full of hope and had so many plans for straightening out he life when she was released.

When we saw her last year (for the first time since X was born), she was close to being released and living in a halfway house. When we visited there, we had a bit of security as she couldn't easily leave, or have other visitors there besides us. She was still full of hopes and plans for the future. She had a job and said she was doing well.

A few months after that first visit, I ran into her. She was crossing the street and I was in my car. I had to do a double take. I could have just let her pass as she hadn't seen me, but I called to her. She was high. I was sick for her. I guess being back in the real world was a tough adjustment for her. I gave her a lift back to where she was staying and when she walked away from the car, I wrote her off, lost back to her old ways, either dyeing of an overdose or back to prison. Needless to say I was very surprised when the Mrs. said that they attorney had sent her a note and that BM would like to see us.

The visit went very well. I think it makes her really happy to see how well X is and how much he is loved. I like to think that we are a glimmer of hope to her. She has three other children who were removed from her custody, she doesn't know where they are, at least she knows about X.

We get something out of these meetings too. We do not intend to hide X's adoption from him. He will grow up knowing that we adopted him and how special that makes him. Despite this, the day will come when he will start asking questions about his biological parents. As he gets older, and hopefully, we continue with this relationship, that process will be much easier on him, and on us.

MacBook

Just posting from my new MacBook. :)

Only trying to help

 

This makes me laugh every time I see it