What not to do when...

You wake up at 2 am.

1. Drink more than a sip of water, you'll spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom.
2. Go to the bathroom. If you break the golden seal, you'll spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom.
3. Look for or even think about a clock. You will spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep.
4. Touch the remote control. You will become interested in a program that you must continually stop watching while you run to the bathroom. While you are watching a show, you are distracted because you are obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep.
5. Turn on your laptop. The light created by it in combination with the TV will burn into your retina so that when you close your eyes all you see is blinding light. When you open your eyes to avoid it, you try to get interested in that program again, but you are distracted obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep, when you remember that you need to use the bathroom...again.

And do not try to go back to bed at 5 am. You will simply fall asleep just in time for the alarm to go off and just piss you off.

Can't sleep

I lost sleep last night because I kept having all of these ideas about what to write in my blog today. Crazy. Now I've been sitting here for an hour and can't seem to form a coherent thought. Sucks.



Some other reasons I loose sleep, (in no particular order):



Wife must have the TV on

Son kicking me in the back

Afraid of rolling over and crushing son



My mind won't stop racing - rehashing things I should have said or done during the day, what will my blog be today, things that made me laugh, some person long forgotten from high school, you name it.



I think I might unplug the TV so my wife thinks it is broken, and then after she goes to sleep, turn off the monitor so I don't hear when my son wakes up and wants to come to bed with mommy and daddy.

I know that these thing are evil, just thoughts and the idea of going to bed, sleeping all night and waking up refreshed seems like a sweet sweet dream.