What not to do when...

You wake up at 2 am.

1. Drink more than a sip of water, you'll spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom.
2. Go to the bathroom. If you break the golden seal, you'll spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom.
3. Look for or even think about a clock. You will spend the rest of the night running to the bathroom obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep.
4. Touch the remote control. You will become interested in a program that you must continually stop watching while you run to the bathroom. While you are watching a show, you are distracted because you are obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep.
5. Turn on your laptop. The light created by it in combination with the TV will burn into your retina so that when you close your eyes all you see is blinding light. When you open your eyes to avoid it, you try to get interested in that program again, but you are distracted obsessing about how little time you have left to sleep, when you remember that you need to use the bathroom...again.

And do not try to go back to bed at 5 am. You will simply fall asleep just in time for the alarm to go off and just piss you off.