Thanks

When I walked into the house on Wednesday and was accosted by by the smell of Thanksgiving preparations in the kitchen it finally sank in that it is indeed November and Holiday Time is upon us. I was thankful for a wife who loves me so much and who breaths so much holiday spirit into our home.

On Thursday our table looked as if it had sprung from a TV commercial -- right down to the Publix salt and pepper shakers. A huge table with 18 people around it passing food around all smiles and great conversations. I just watched and thought about how thankful I am for my family and friends.

On Friday we went to EPCOT for the Candlelight Processional. This will hopefully be the tradition that X remembers and carries on when he starts his family. Judging from his reaction this year, I'm sure this will be the case... he seemed to become possessed by the music, from conducting the orchestra during the overture to dancing during the choir's third number. He was raised to such a level that he exhausted himself, and finally turned around, laid his head on my shoulder and went to sleep. I'm thankful to have such a wonderful, happy and healthy child.

I really have so much to be thankful for, and I try through-out the year not to take these things for granted. There are days when the Mrs. and I just look at each other and say "we are so lucky." I see people at work, or watch the news, or hell, just driving down the street, who would be happy to live the worst day of my life rather than live the best day of theirs.

‘Too sexy for Southwest’ woman in Playboy - Media- msnbc.com

This reminded me of Sexy Suburbanite's post about dressing up to fly.  Someone at Southwest must agree...and took action.

‘Too sexy for Southwest’ woman in Playboy - Media- msnbc.com

Cover Your Ass - Part II

I was talking with my friend Jeff yesterday and we started talking about covering your ass. "Funny would should mention that," I say. Now, I trust Jeff completely, despite the fact that he is tight with Satan (the big boss where I work), so I had no problem telling him that I believe that Satan is where the problem starts.

Well, Jeff looked as if every neuron in his brain misfired and blood might start to drip from his tear ducts and his ears. To my surprise, he only said "I haven't seen that." We didn't really have a chance to finish the discussion.

When Satan asks questions regarding problems, it is invariably a who question: who knew, who decided, who did; you get the idea. When the first thing someone wants to know is who, that means they are coming for you and this promotes a culture of CC: and read receipts for every minor "communication". Oh, and by the way, he has every "communication" he has sent or received since 2000 or something crazy like that. Cover your ass.

I have to believe that if the conversations here where of the what, where, when and why sort, we might actually learn some things from our mistakes. Questions like:

1. What happened?
2. Is this an isolated incident, or a re-occurring one?
3. What was the result?
4. Which customers and how were they impacted?
5. How can we do it differently?

You see, these questions will lead unthreateningly to the who, and people may actually have an opportunity to learn something from a situation.

Who looks like you are building a case. Take for example the broken speaker that "someone" knew about for three weeks and yet nothing was done about it. My boss, assistant-Satan, goes on the hunt for who knew, rather than, ok, I know about it now, lets get it fixed and make sure everyone knows who to report these problems to in the future so things aren't left hanging. Every question was who, instead of where was the process breakdown.

So we work here in this CYA culture, for now. Would it be gauche to post my résumé here and solicit comments, or better yet, job offers?

Please Don't Think I'm a Dick...

...when I turn all condescending after you've asked me the same question - changing your words ever so slightly - three times in a row. No matter how you ask, the answer will still be the same. I have a fairly firm grasp of the English language, so you won't be able to trick me into changing my answer.

...when I roll my eyes at you because you over simplify things, or think I can do magic or something. If you are getting ready to say to me "why don't you just..." then you must think you know better how to do my job, in which case, you can have it.

...when I see you coming and I turn and walk the other way. I was raised this way - dad always told me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, to say nothing at all. My walking the other way is a precautionary measure to prevent me from opening my mouth and quite possibly doing you sever psychological damage. You should really thank me, and ask yourself why I have such disdain for you.

...when I get all huffy about a 16:55 meeting for something that could certainly have waited until tomorrow morning. You see, my time is valuable to me, as is yours. I'll do all I can to respect your time, please do the same for me. This goes for calling me as well. Expect attitude if you call me at 18:30 to ask me the seating capacity of the conference room upstairs. That CAN WAIT until morning, when I'm at the office.

...when I don't call you back simply because you showed up on my missed calls list. If it was important, you should've left a voice mail.

...when I bring out the techno-babble because you ask me why something needs to be done a certain way or prod me about why your pie in the sky "FM" suggestion will not work. I do try to shield you from this because you invariably just look at me like I'm a dick for giving you the technical answer.

...when I laugh at you because you've told me you need a favor and then tell me to call you to find out what it is.

...when I tell you I'm fine thank you even though you didn't ask, you just started your complaining straight away as if I'm a machine just taking in your inputs. Guess what, I'm a person too, so when you call me start off with "Good morning, this is whoeverthehellyouare, how are you?" We will get off on the right foot that way. I know you don't care how I am and you just want your problem solved, but still, it is the nice thing to do.

...because I'm not. Actually, I'm very laid back and easy to get along with. Take a little time to get to know me and you'll see. Oh, and I'm sure that there is more than one thing on this list that bothers you too.

Cover Your Ass

Do you request a read receipt for every e-mail you send. Then do CC: 25 people so you can make sure the whole world knows that you sent something to someone.

It is disgusting. We have gotten so worried about making sure we have some way to pass the buck onto someone else, to skirt any responsibility or ownership, that I don't see how there is any time or effort being placed on doing what we are actually paid to do.

Do you think that if we all just took the time to do the best job we can do then we won't need to worry so much about whether or not our ass is covered.

S E V E N Days...

Count 'em, seven days sailing on the sea. Ahh. I think a cruise is one of the best, most relaxing vacations you can take, and Disney Cruise Lines does it best. Spacious staterooms, and a ship that is simply elegant from stem to stern make your stay on this ship better than any resort I've ever stayed in.

We took the seven day Western Caribbean cruise. Key West, Grand Cayman, Cozumel and Castaway Cay. It was a blast...

Key West

On Sunday we were in Key West. We were scheduled to arrive at the port late in the morning so I scheduled the "Exotic Rasul" treatment at the spa. At least this way the Mrs. would still have some sort of surprise. This was a treatment for two so I thought it would be nice. Yeah, NO. This was the only part of the trip that SUCKED. You were sent into this room/shower where we were to:
1. Rub this salty concoction all over one another, then
2. Go stand in this steam room for five minutes, then
3. Go shower off
4. Rub some mud stuff all over one another, and
5. Repeat steps two and three.
Let me reiterate how much this sucked. It SUCKED. No more than an $80 shower was this. The steam room was so hot that it burned your lungs when you walked in, and then the shower was ice cold and I paid for this

When we got off the ship we walked around Key West for a while, had a beer, some conch fritters, and key lime pie. It was too hot and humid so we decided to just go back to the ship and hang out at the pool. No loss though, we've been to Key West before.

A Day at Sea

 I so love the days at sea. Nothing planned but to relax. I read and drank cocktails while the Mrs. played bingo and when to an art auction. In the end, that cost almost as much as the cruise itself...

This is the Simon Bull we finally bought.

Grand Cayman

Beautiful water. The bluest water I have ever seen in my life. Other  than that, tee shirt and jewelry shops. We had a lunch that seemed reasonably priced until they converted the money to US $$. I then felt raped. The conch gazpacho was good, but bowl of soup, a plate of jerk chicken (which was awesome BTW), a plate of calamari (all appetizer size), and some fruity Caribbean drink for more than $60. Ouch.

We really didn't see too much of Grand Cayman, just the touristy stuff. Next time it might be nice to venture a bit further into the island and see what it is really like.

Cozumel

We were supposed to swim with the dolphins while we were in Cozumel, but the wether prohibited that. It was so windy that day that it was difficult to even walk. I liked Cozumel in general, what was most annoying was all the people trying to drag you into their stores. One Mexican Minute". Please. And then when you don't buy anything they get nasty. So the Mrs. drug me all over Cozumel all day looking at tee shirts and jewelry, we did have a good lunch dirt cheep though -- six bucks for two beers and appetizers -- sweet! At some point she asks me what time it is, is say "half past over it -- can we go now." Two hours later we find our way back to the ship.

Another Day at Sea

Need I say more?

Castaway Cay

I think the best port of call on the itinerary. Nothing to do but sit on the beach and drink. It was a beautiful day and hang on the beach is exactly what we did. Then we laid in a hammock for a little while.

 

All in all, this was one of the best vacations on record. Everyone should take a cruise at some point in their lives. I know many will say they get sea sick or whatever, but hey wear one of those patch things behind your ear, and don't think about it -- you'll be fine!

The Tupperware Incident

It was supposed to be a surprise. I had been planning it since February and had enlisted the help of every devious person I know. I had arranged time off, a baby sitter for X and someone to come and stay with the dogs. So when the Mrs. called and asked if I had spent $$$$ with Disney Cruise Lines, naturally I denied it.

the Mrs. -"Hang on there's fraud on our account, I've got the lady on the other line. Lemme conference you in!" 

me - "no no, let her go. It was me, nosy nosy woman. Happy Anniversary.  Why are you looking online at the credit card statement anyway?"

the Mrs. - "I'm not. I was trying to buy some Tupperware and the credit card was declined."

me - "oh. Yeah well -- we definitely need more tupperware, I thought we had a better credit line than that. Sorry. Too bad your surprise was spoiled."

Actually, I was relieved that I didn't have to pack for her, you know I would have really screwed that up!